How is it that most of us know effective stress management plays a large role in our overall well-being, yet we do not provide it the time or attention required for our desired outcomes? There are many reasons we can give, but one tends to stand out above the rest. We simply do not make it our priority. A fast paced lifestyle is common throughout most of the states. Other commitments and obligations leave us with bloated calendars and little room to take care of ourselves. Consequently, we put our needs at the bottom of the list of things to do.
There are external and internal stressors present in our everyday lives. Some types of stress are good for us and provide benefits, while other types can negatively affect our health when not managed well. Our bodies generate a physiological response to stress to get everything back in balance, or homeostasis. However, when we continue encountering stressors and are unable to reach homeostasis over a prolonged period of time, we become exhausted and increase our risk for diseases and premature mortality. This sort of poorly managed stress can contribute to depression, asthma, anxiety disorders, strokes and more.
There are several tools and methods for managing stress and our mindset is a great place to begin. How we perceive stress has a lot to do with how we respond to it. With a fixed mindset, we are likely to feel that stress is something that is being done to us and that there is nothing we can do about it. It is out of our control and perhaps the only options we have to deal with it, is to avoid the stressor or give up on whatever it is we were trying to do in the first place. On the contrary, a growth mindset is characterized with an interest in learning, embracing obstacles, and not giving up when things do not go as planned. Our goal is to develop a growth mindset. The following real-world scenario demonstrates the difference of a fixed mindset versus a growth mindset.
Scenario with Fixed Mindset:
Monday morning was horrible. My coffee-maker broke and I got strawberry jam on my work blouse when I was rushing out the door. There was no time to change so I left the house embarrassed by my appearance, knowing people at work would probably think I am a slob. After I got in my car and tried to pull out of my parking spot, I got honked at by a couple of impatient drivers that didn’t want to let me out of my spot. I felt angry that they couldn’t be more courteous and wait 5 seconds without honking. Then, as I made my way down the road, a cyclist flew out in front of me in the pedestrian crosswalk, and I had to slam on my brakes. I cursed and yelled out the window for them to walk their bikes across the street. I finally made it to the freeway and just as soon as I got up to speed, I hit a pothole and got a flat. I pulled off on the side of the freeway, cursed some more, and called for roadside assistance because there wasn’t enough room to safely change the flat without possibly getting hit by passing cars. I felt angry and mad with how terrible the morning was going. There was no doubt I would be late for work. I didn’t want to face my boss or deal with the eyes staring at me when I walked into our team meeting after the door had already been closed. I just couldn’t do it. I called the office and told the assistant I was feeling pretty bad and had to stay home sick. After my tire was fixed, I went home and watched TV the rest of the day. I felt down and frustrated. It felt like the world was against me.
Scenario with Growth Mindset:
Monday morning was interesting! My coffee-maker broke. This meant that I would have to wait to get my first cup of coffee at work, but that was okay because my co-worker brews up the best aromas. It also meant I would be getting myself fa new coffee-maker! I managed to get strawberry jam on my blouse as I went out the door. I laughed as I thought about how many times I’d be explaining my mishap to my co-workers when I got in. I knew we’d get a good chuckle out of it. I also thought maybe I could start waking up ten minutes earlier so I would be less rushed and less likely to do that again. A couple of drivers honked at me as I was pulling out of my parking spot and I waved, recognizing they were probably worried about getting to their jobs on time. Then a cyclist darted out in front of my car and I immediately felt grateful for the new brakes I got over the weekend. Just as soon as I got on the freeway, I hit a pothole and got a flat. I pulled off on the side of the freeway. I called for roadside assistance. As I waited for them to arrive, I called the tire shop and booked an appointment for all of my tires to be replaced, something that was long overdue. I was lucky the flat didn’t cause me to get into an accident. This was my opportunity to make sure my car was safe. I had been driving on nearly bald tires for too long simply because I hadn’t prioritized taking it in. This was my sign it was time to take care of it. I called the office and asked to speak with my boss. I explained what happened and asked if she would mind me working from the tire shop until my car was ready. She said that wouldn’t be an issue and that she looked forward to seeing me when I got in.
Thoughts/Discussion:
What did you notice in the different scenarios? How is my mental state when I have a fixed mindset versus a growth mindset? How did having a growth mindset produce better outcomes for my well-being, safety, and even my work productivity? By facing my problems, communicating with my boss, and addressing my issues, I was able to remain calm, get my car in good order, and still get my work done. The growth mindset scenario illustrated how to embrace a situation and obstacles rather than fighting them. Imagine how much we can change our lives for the better simply by changing the lenses we view them through. The next time you encounter a stressor that generates bad feelings for you, pause and think about how that stressor might lead you to something positive. Or maybe it’s another person having a bad day, and your kindness may be the difference they need to turn things around. We cannot control the world around us but we do have an incredible amount of control over how we perceive it.